Nerding Day: Bokee’s Trek

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11 replies on “Nerding Day: Bokee’s Trek”

Bokee looks like a motherfucker that would do all your coke and tell you that YOU’RE the one with a problem.

The only things I know about Knoxville are that The Big Red Machine, The Demon Kane is the mayor, and now this. I wonder if Kane ever visits Ancient Lore Village?

This reminds me of the Fun in Balloonland and Santa Claus Meets the Ice Cream Bunny Rifftrax, just tours of terrible theme parks cast through the filters of incompetence and madness.

I knew a guy in college, in the post-MST3K, pre-Rifftrax days, who kept saying Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny would be a perfect movie for MST3K.

That guy knew what was up.

I work for a local government in East Tennessee and Randy was the commissioner of Economic Development for the state of Tennessee before he resigned to campaign for governor. Everybody that worked with him wanted him to win so bad because we knew it would be like having Bill Haslam (previous governor) for another 8 years. Which I know how that sounds now in 2022 and the concept of having a “good republican” governor in a deep red state is sort of like being murdered by the funniest clown in the evil circus gang, but it would have absolutely been the best case scenario for us. Randy is one of the nicest human beings which of course disqualifies you in 2022 from running for Republican Governor of Tennessee but 2010 to 2018 was a weird time where the governors office was very moderate and it lead to a lot of economic growth. We even instituted 2 free years of college at state schools for Tennessee residents during that time, which is apparently “socialism” now. He was the front runner for most of that summer and then someone on his campaign staff that needs to be found and have their ass properly kicked convinced him to get down and roll in the shit with Diane Black, a succubus, who was already running attack ads against him. His ads got worse and worse and he would even say in interviews he didn’t like it and he wished they weren’t doing it. And when he was asked why he just didn’t do the attack ads, he said that “everybody that is an expert in politics says that if you’re attacked you have to defend yourself”. Proving that everyone that is an expert in politics is a moron, everyone got sick of those two’s bullshit and voted for the third guy who is the living embodiment of ignorant confusion.

But also don’t feel sorry for him, his family has enough money to write this book, construct a resort based on that book and then manage to not ride that decision at light speed into bankruptcy, so he’s fine.

I have watched Fun In Balloonland many times more than any other piece of entertainment ever, including the Wizard of Oz, which they used to show every year on television.

There is nothing like Balloonland. An astonishingly gorgeous amalgam of pathos and shabby improvisation by disinterested incompetents which somehow becomes pure madness.

When I moved into my current place, I wanted a kitchen wall clock, and I went to a resale shop to grab one. There was one with really weird nordic-ish symbols in place of the numbers, and a written message about its origins. I googled the message because I was afraid I was about to buy a White Power Clock. Nope! Turns out the symbols were from a local self-published author’s work of gay fantasy erotica that involves a lot of elves banging each other in the butt.

Yes, of course I now have a Gay Fantasy Sex Wall Clock. Why would you even ask if I bought it? The answer was always going to be yes.

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