Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)
Punsteria
The idea behind Teamworking Day is that some artifacts are simply too cursed to tackle alone. It’s like The Drift in Pacific Rim, a reference everyone understands and values. When somebody tried to teach a faulty AI how to make grade school puns and then removed all the safety measures, it took Seanbaby and Brockway working in tandem just to spread out the psychic damage to non-lethal levels.
The Austin Powers Collectible Card Game
There were Austin Powers trading cards. That’s not surprising. Everything had a trading card in the ‘90s. What’s surprising is these were part of a functional CCG. Yeah, Baby! We’re not saying “yeah, baby!” We’re playing Yeah, Baby! Somebody gave gameplay stats to the phrase “yeah, baby!”
Captain Al Cohol
In the 1970s, the Canadian government needed to address the problem of rampant alcoholism among its indigenous people. They knew they needed to do this sensitively, by making a comic book. That was already a bad idea, and then they created the world’s first alcoholic superhero. Then they made him white. And then they had him crash a snowmobile into a telephone pole.
Muryo Waza
There’s nothing more Hot Dog than a maniac writing a kung-fu manual. Except maybe if that Kung-fu manual is also based on unlikely animals, obscure clip-art, and clocks, clocks, clocks.
Double Red Lucky
Your life is a mess, and that’s because you’re not drinking enough Good Life Forever Happy Floor Wash and Foot Antiseptic. Only every third item in the Double Red Lucky catalog can save you.