Category: PODCASTING DAY

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: The Worst Movie You Love, with David Bell 🌭

You have used your eyes to ingest far more than the FDA mandated Maximum Ocular Hot Dog Intake (2 franks/day). Let’s give them a break and switch to cramming tubed meats straight into your earholes. It’s Podcasting Day! Today the illustrious David Bell arrived on a palanquin carried by six fit eunuchs cut solely by natural causes (the rarest and most prized of all) to grace us with his royal presence. 

You might know him from Gamefully Unemployed, the excellent podcast empire he co-dominates with the cruel but beautiful Tom Reimann. Whether it’s Story Mode or Hype Cast, We Just Watched… or Fox Mulder is a Maniac, he casts pods so frequently you honestly have no excuse not to have heard and loved one by now. I would not admit to that in public if I were you, I’d just correct it right away. 

We had a simple but powerful prompt for David: What’s the worst movie that you unironically love? 

He brought Miami Connection, 1987 Florida’s love letter to electric guitars, ninjas, and friendship. 

Brockway brought Equilibrium, the himbo’s treatise on like… how art is pretty good and stuff. 

Seanbaby brought Traxx, an absolute lunatic’s smeared suicide note of a film. 

Words cannot do it justice, which is too bad since that’s all we used on this podcast. 

This one right here!

Listen to it with both ears so it feels like we have you surrounded! Then please subscribe at your preferred service, don’t forget to leave us a review, and tell a friend or respected enemy about us. We really need your help to grow this podcast, and those are by far the best things you can do for us, who have given you so much and only ever asked for more in return. 

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Let’s All Attack Dan O’Brien! 🌭

Today, the Dogg Zzone 9000 welcomes our old friend Daniel “Hot Dan the Mustard Man” O’Brien, the emmy-award winning writer from Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and co-host of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel. As a decorated comedy craftsman, we obviously chose to discuss something we all have in common– a lady self-defense manual from half a century ago.

You can hear Hot Dan the Mustard Man and Brockway’s karate growing stronger in real time as Seanbaby shares with them passages and moves from his favorite book of all time with no qualifications, Looking Forward to Being Attacked. It was written by a Memphis police lieutenant who decided the secret to stopping crime was to arm every American woman with a maniacal, almost sexual sadism. It worked! Crime is gone!

After you hear us discuss choke escapes and mugger outsmartings, you’ll be excited for your next attack! Desperate, hungry for it! But more importantly, you’ll become normalized to Daniel “DOB” O’Brien’s new nickname, Hot Dan the Mustard Man. He took to it like he and his new name were waiting for each other their entire lives.

If you’re already listening along, here is the advanced technique Sean references for escaping a double titty grab at the bus stop by a medium to untrained molester. As the author says, quote, “it should be a lot of fun.”

If you’re a Hot Dog Hero level member of our Patreon or higher, you can head to the Discord and listen to our bonus podcast where we and Daniel discuss Super Friends Episode 202-D, “The Antidote” featuring Apache Chief and Wonder Woman just getting the shit kicked out of them by a giant snake and two wild pigs. Oh, and Aquaman taught us how to make maracas out of paper plates and beans. It all sucked and we loved it.

Thanks for supporting our site and podcast, and if you want to help more, review and subscribe! Watch Hot Dan’s acclaimed HBO show and listen to his podcast! If you’re being attacked by your dentist, look at this! And remember to enjoy it!

And we’ve heard from many of you that you were tired of watching your tennis opponents die. Show them this and maybe you can shut the fuck up about it!

We leave you now with the final page of Looking Forward to Being Attacked in its entirety. Thanks for listening, Hulkahotdaniacs.

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Ready Player Two with Michael Swaim 🌭

It’s Podcasting Day again, and I hope you all have your pods ready for casting. Imagine if you didn’t. Imagine if you weren’t prepared to cast a pod at all – you’d be so embarrassed. Friends would mock you, family would abandon you, dogs would attack you in the street sensing your innate weakness. Luckily that’s not you: You’re ready for Michael Swaim to join Seanbaby and Brockway in carefully critiquing the plot structures of Ready Player Two.*

You might remember Michael Swaim from the internet, which you’re currently on. He’s classed up joints like Cracked and IGN, and hosts his own perpetual funk jam band called Small Beans. Dude even writes killer fiction. We’re calling him the total package, basically, which is very different from the time we called him a total package.

If you like receiving steamy hot dog deliveries weekly now, remember to share the podcast with your friends, subscribe through the app of your choice (we like PodPeople and CastDatAss, personally), and leave a glowing review that describes our biceps as “like they’ve got hams up their sleeves – like they’re about to do some sort of ham-based magic trick.”

*Mercilessly savaging every single element of it, from awkward prose to offensive characters to the hackneyed references peppering every page like George Peppard from the hit 1983 television show, The A-Team . No really, I mean we absolutely tear it apart like somebody set loose a pack of baboons in a daycare for the blind. It’s hard to feel good about the things we did to this one. 

Podcast novelization cover by Brett Ellefson

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Explaining Heathcliff with Fryda Wolff

It’s the Dogg Zzone 9000 Episode Nine! It’s the day Brockway decided we were getting to the bottom of something that’s been bothering us for months: Heathcliff comics. For instance, what’s going on with them, and what the fuck is going on with them? They’re absurdist in a world with no rules, or are they? They’re bad jokes posing as anti-jokes, or are they? There’s a good chance we didn’t solve it.

Still, to make the journey into insanity more pleasant(?) we invited superstar voice actress Fryda Wolff (Apex Legends, Cyberpunk 2077, Mass Effect 3, Trolls, The Mighty Ones) to join us. Listen to her get disappointed in Heathcliff, and us, as she describes and narrates each of the magical(?) cat’s adventures! You can stop reading and go listen now or scroll past the HOT gentleman square dancers to Brockway’s carefully(?) curated Heathcliff cartoons and follow along.

Subscribe and review! And be sure to fun us on Hamflag! Heathcliff the show on Meathat! Tell your friends to leave 5 Rejoices on GarbageApe!

Oh, and in Extra Weiner, the bonus episode available on our Discord server, the three of us watch a sizzle reel for Cocktails, an independent-made drama(?) about a war between Good and Evil set against the backdrop of the Castro gay bar scene. It fucking rules, and it’s the subject of our next Teamworking Day. Okay, here are the HOT gentleman square dancers from the unmade TV sensation Cocktails you need to scroll past to get to the meat tank children love(?) so much. Am I making sense? I feel like I’m not making sense. Does my helmet say ASS or HAM? Wait, don’t tell me.

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: The Romantic Photon Dungeon for Hunks 🌭

Happy very special Podcasting Day to you, our podcastees. And it’s a big one: as of today, The Dogg Zzone 9000 is going weekly! That’s right, we’re going to talk to you every single week, like a healthy relationship with a parent, or a mandatory one with a parole officer. We’ll spend so much time in your ears you are basically guaranteed an infection. Do we have enough charm and wit to fill that many episodes? Maybe not! But it’ll be funny to watch us struggle every week, much like our parole officer!

To kick things off we’re finally getting Lydia Bugg on the podcast, whom you might know from this site. Right here! We had a lot we wanted to unpack in last week’s Hot Doggery, so we put on our Self Reflection Helmets and dove into our own bullshit. We talked about Jack Chick’s tiny efforts to save the dork soul, we discussed masturbating to hunks with plausible deniability, we delved too deep into Photon and were rightfully punished for it, and we also have a little something just for the ladies with The Romance Writer’s Phrase Book. Here’s another gift, women: Moist musk.

You love that! We were assured you love that. We read the official Phrase Book, we’d know better than you.

We finally have a name for our bonus podcasts:

And we’re celebrating it with a special bonus episode miniseries called PIZZA BUDDIES WATCH SUPER FRIENDS!

There is a scientific meter of friendship. On it, Super Friends is the highest level. Subway Acquaintances is the lowest level. We’ve run the numbers: Seanbaby and Brockway are definitely Pizza Buddies. Pizza Buddies who watch Super Friends together… with you! It’s a live watchalong podcast, kind of a track you can play where we riff on what you’re watching. It’s a pretty complicated concept. Maybe there should be a word for that.

If you want to listen to us discuss just how much Gleek rules, you can find new episodes of Pizza Buddies Watch Super Friends in the Bonus Podcast channel of our Discord. Join today! Also don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast here, leave us a review, and abandon your friends to die in a garden.

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: People Who Became the Best Parodies of Themselves🌭

Today, in the Dogg Zzone 9000 Podcast, we are joined by our dear friend Jason Pargin, author of Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick. We talk about what happens after a celebrity loses control of their schtick. At what point does a person become a parody of themself? Do they know? Do they care? Who do we blame for Steven Seagal, shown here after you Google his name with the word carrot?

We discuss the rise, fall, fall, fall, fall, and incredible financial success of Dennis Miller– the first and only comedian to be exiled from Twitter for being bad at tweeting after he typed this:

How can that Tweet be? How can our mothers live on a world that allowed it? We do our best to figure it out and Jason and Brockway face off in a Seanbaby’s Book Game™ where they listen to real Dennis Miller quotes and guess if Sean actually made them up. “THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE,” said participant Jason Pargin!

And speaking of face offs and the impossible, in our bonus episode we talk about the fun version of celebrity self-parody gone out of control: Nicolas Cage. Patrons can listen to it in our Discord, and as you do so, here is the behind-the-scenes shot of John Travolta and Nicolas Cage saying crazy shit to each other during Face/Off. And here is Nicolas Cage when you Google his name with the word jacket:

And, of course, here is Nicolas Cage with all of the patches replaced with Steven Seagal eating a carrot:

Enjoy the podcast! Subscribe! Leave a review! Eat a carrot!