Author: 1900HOTDOG

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Hot Dog Store: This Shirt Does Not Make Sense

But you know what? Neither does anything else right now.

So check it out, we have it in a shirt that you can wear all over your torso and shoulder areas.

Pretty innovative!

And did you know we also have it available in a mug? Yeah, it comes in like 10 different colors.

These mugs are lead and BPA-free, and are fine in the dishwasher or microwave.

So get that Hot Dog Handshake, wear the shirt, fill the mug with Poxco Peppo or whatever. Buy two and make them kiss! The future is what you make of it.

Thereā€™s no time to chat. Youā€™re on Hot Dog business.

This week our featured vault product is the incredible Hot Dog Business Polo!

A beautiful little wiener tastefully embroidered for your busy work day.

It is so small. Everyone loves it!

Like all vault products, it is up to you to unlock and explore to find it. Just please donā€™t let anything awful out.

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Hot Dog Store: ICYMI 1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM

Itā€™s like music, but for your ears!

When we started this website, it was a thin excuse to pursue our true passion: Podcasting. When we started the podcast, it was a thin excuse to pursue our truer passion: Commissioning custom theme songs. Finally you can give us money for them, and help make a very small dent in our absolutely crippling theme song debt.

1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM contains 18 theme songs, 23 Extra Wieners, and 1 stunning high res artwork of all 16 of your favorite dogs. Featuring the musical talents of Zak Koonce, Jamie Kelly, Seanbaby, and technically Brockway, 1-900HOTDOG: THE ALBUM is the perfect theme music for any occasion, from the bedroom (fucking) to your neighbor’s carport (also fucking). You can fuck to this album. You can only fuck to it. You’re not allowed to do anything else but fuck while playing it.

Available only on our patreon.

I feel a strong energy coming from the vault this week.

Do yoga and eat right for Satan.

Available once again in the vault, Dreams of the Witch! Donā€™t wait too long though, who knows how long this witch will bathe in mediocrity before the slumber ends. Get your shirt while you can, and if you canā€™t, figure your shit out!

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Hot Dog Store: 1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM

When we started this website, it was a thin excuse to pursue our true passion: Podcasting. When we started the podcast, it was a thin excuse to pursue our truer passion: Commissioning custom theme songs. Finally you can give us money for them, and help make a very small dent in our absolutely crippling theme song debt.

1-900-HOTDOG: THE ALBUM contains 18 theme songs, 23 Extra Wieners, and 1 stunning high res artwork of all 16 of your favorite dogs. Featuring the musical talents of Zak Koonce, Jamie Kelly, Seanbaby, and technically Brockway, 1-900HOTDOG: THE ALBUM is the perfect theme music for any occasion, from the bedroom (fucking) to your neighbor’s carport (also fucking). You can fuck to this album. You can only fuck to it. You’re not allowed to do anything else but fuck while playing it.

Available only on our patreon.

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Hot Dog Store: Pint Glasses For Your Pint Asses

The crew is hard at work on something new and cool, but in the meantime, Iā€™m thirsty. Are you thirsty?

Irrelevant.

You will get thirsty at some point though and thatā€™s what Iā€™m here to help you with today.

Fun fact, anything you put in here tastes like fetid hotdog water. Donā€™t believe me? Buy one right now and try it. Worst case scenario I am wrong and you have a cool glass. But if it does work, oh buddy, can you imagine?

Hotdoggers will see this and say ā€œHell Yeah.ā€ They are totally right. They also buy it because they are cool. You are cool, right? Iā€™d hate to have to think you werenā€™t. Lookinā€™ at you, Mike.

You down with IPP? No, not the Insane Plown Posse, Iā€™m talking about ICE POP PAUL. What a delightful scamp; you should invite him into your home and allow him to keep watch over you from his place within your curio. You donā€™t have a curio? Weird. Well, donā€™t worry, heā€™ll figure something out.

I feel a strong energy coming from the vault this week.

You know what was a great week?

Hunk week.

Our hunks celebrate the only way they know: Buns out. And thankfully you can celebrate buns to the wind while wearing this shirt, available only in the vault!

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Hot Dog Store: Welcome to 2026

The holidays are over, the new year has been rung in. Rang in? Ringed in. Thatā€™s the one. The new year has been ringed in and you forgot to send cards out to everyone. Whoops!

Itā€™s all good, we got your back. You probably didnā€™t see the podcast roundup last week because you were too busy doing cool stuff like kickflipping your grandma over a car or something. But if you did see it, youā€™d have known that we got some sick ass holiday themed postcards for you. Check ā€˜em out.

Look at the boys, hard at work putting together their best of. Itā€™s just like Bodhi day according to my internet search engine’s AI scraper. Thatā€™s pretty neat!

The Coyote King stands alone on Christmas morning. Nobody got him anything. Thatā€™s so sad! Send this one to your weird uncle.

Praise be, our savior is born! Celebrate the birth of the Deathcat with this jubilant illustration and let us adore him. Featuring a regular dog!

Nothing says winter like a dogsled ride with your boys. Season the most greeting with what I hope is something not physically connected to any of the three.

Oh boy fat man, youā€™ve gone and stepped in it now. Time for a traditional Christmas beatdown courtesy of 1900HotDog

Get cozy by the fireplace with a postcard showing my favorite time of year: Hot Cocoa out of our cool ass mugs! Double merch push, gotā€™em!

And letā€™s see if the vault has rewards or punishments for the first week of the year. The discord prophet says that it is a portent of things to come. An important portent even. I had a dream about an upcoming camping trip that I ended up cancelling. Glad I did because there was a recall on some of my gear, which I knew because of the important portent about that poor tent.

Stop throwing things at me Iā€™ll open the damn vault already.

The game may die, the shirt never will.

This week we have the Kumite The Home Game shirt available in the vault, only in 2026! I mean if you can figure out how to buy it in 2025 right now thatā€™d be amazing, but as far as I know you gotta accept the linearity of the flow of time and you also gotta buy this shirt.

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best Hot Dog of 2025 – Teamworking DayšŸŒ­

Just like we do every year, 1-900-HOTDOG is taking the very best articles by the very best people and making them free. Just like every year, this is our holiday gift to you and the world. And just like every year, you and the world got us jack fucking shit. So make it up to us by spreading some of these free articles around, or sharing the entire free category of the site to your friends, family, and enemies you still kind of want to bang.

Teamworking Days are the most special of all hot dog days. Once a month, we join forces like a meat-based Voltron to make fun of something too mad to safely mock alone. Mockery works on the buddy system. This year we opened Teamworking up to exciting new combinations. No longer are we limited to Brockbaby. Now thereā€™s Baby K, Buggneck, and even Sissynard! Collect them all, make them breed, become a god.

Detective Extralarge šŸŒ­

Seanbaby and Merritt K introduce you to Italyā€™s hugest detective: Extralarge. Detective Extralarge is a sexual powerhouse who solves every case with trundling and bonks. Heā€™s kind of a horizontal Jack Reacher, A bounce-house Sonny Crockett. Like if all the human mass of The Rockford Files was just one guy. And his theme song will kill you.

Ventriloquist Dream Date šŸŒ­

Whatā€™s sexier than ventriloquism puppets? Donā€™t answer that. Unless your answer was their ventriloquists, which is wrong anyway. Seanbaby put together the hottest dating game in town, and Brockway adamantly refuses to play it. Itā€™s simple self preservation. It wonā€™t work.

Man After Man šŸŒ­

You know what they say: The best revenge is article-based. In a misplaced act of vengeance for Seanbabyā€™s Ventriloquist Dream Date, Brockway put together the hottest dating game of the future with Man After Man. And Seanbaby plays the hell out of it. Heā€™s all in on the branching evolution of these future hunks! Onward, to a time when man has become nothing but buns!

ASMRchurch Part 1 šŸŒ­ & Part 2 šŸŒ­

Dennard and Merritt K join forces to discuss ASMRchurch. The title is pretty self-explanatory, itā€™s your basic whisper church for AI anime perverts. Hey, the bible never said anything about anime sluts, crappy AI art, or sexy whispered sermons. It would, if they wrote it today. It would absolutely forbid all of those things.

Astaria Films šŸŒ­

Brockway brought Seanbaby a perfectly lovely gift: A sadsack goth incel on a musical journey through the Egyptian afterlife with graphics rendered on a broken Speak & Spell. Seanbaby brought Brockway a gift in return: itā€™s an assbeating. Long overdue.