Category: PODCASTING DAY

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Knife or Death with Lydia Bugg 🌭

It’s Dogg Zzone 9000 Day, and this week we are talking to our very own Lydia Bugg! We brainstormed on a fascinating topic she would love, and we both instantly and simultaneously said, “The way of the blade! The bond between man and sword! THAT SHOW ON NETFLIX WHERE ADULT NERDS CAN’T CUT THROUGH FISH!”

We’re talking about Forged in Fire: Knife or Death: “The Last Samurai,” so this episode is for the stab maniacs only. Non-ninjas, bow specialists, keep moving. Everyone else, you can listen here, or wherever you get podcasts!

FOOTNOTES: Behold, listeners, The Saga of Karl, 55-Year-Old Boy Samurai. It is eighteen screenshots of Karl’s sad rampage through the Knife or Death knife course, completely unaltered– no silly word bubbles or sound effects. Enjoy his journey as we did, with your heart soaring. You will believe in the spirit of the samurai:

At the risk of spoiling the ending, after this middle aged man slowly gave up and failed his way through a sword-chopping obstacle course, he did not, in fact, end up “being the winner!” But we can all learn a lot from Karl. Follow your dreams. Every day is Halloween. Losing is just winning, probably. When something is hard, play something else. Sensible shoes are a comfortable way to fix any sword. Never. Take. Fish. For. Granted. Thank you, Karl.

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Shrunken Heads with Max Booth 🌭

This week on the Dogg Zzone 9000, we’re talking with horror author and publisher Max Booth, of Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing and Ghoulish Books. Max is the author of perfectly bizarre horror books like Touch the Night and Maggots Screaming!, so obviously we needed to talk to him about the 1994 shrunken head movie, Shrunken Heads. 

I know what you’re thinking: Is this really about shrunken heads though? The answer is yes, and then several more yeses! 

There are shrunken heads, way more than you want, but there are lightning powers and voodoo cops too, and some second base action and nerd zombies and holy shit, there are multiple Elfmans including, briefly, Danny, there’s a Fonzi Meg Foster, there’s some war crimes but they PROBABLY didn’t mean it, there’s a maidenhead, an intact maidenhead! I’m not explaining this right, 1994’s Shrunken Heads, do you want to take over for me?

Motorboat us wherever you get your podcasts, and then motorboat us a second, much longer, much more uncomfortable time in the reviews. 

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: The Power Team Album with Todd in the Shadows 🌭

Let’s imagine the majesty of Christ has compelled you to spread His message through the snapping of baseball bats and the mighty blowing of hot water bottles. Let’s imagine you say yes. Now let’s imagine you, the person making all these sane decisions, selects the perfect 14 songs to rip apart phone books to. Behold, Amen, you’ve imagined 1990’s Power Team Soundtrack: The Ultimate Music from the Ultimate Demonstration.

It is beyond muscle. Beyond power. It’s a purely non-sexual explosion of Christian energy, yet sometimes the perfect music for unrelated slow dancing. To help us understand this audio war against the non-ultimate, we brought on delightful YouTube music expert, Todd in the Shadows. Needless to say, we are now all Christian swordsmen with gorilla strength and something intangible to die for. Listen to it here! Or wherever podcasts give you strength.

You should know this is the most eclectic album in all powerlifting history. It’s got rap, heavy metal, unknown, mistake, adult contemporary, child contemporary, angry gospel, and neo other. It is pure embarrassment, except when it rules, and we all loved it. Do the subscribes and likes, or better yet: join our Patreon.

Footnotes:

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Bigfoot Shootout! with Drew Toothpaste and Natalie Dee 🌭

This week we’re talking to fellow ancient internet comedians Drew Toothpaste and Natalie Dee, who created every fourth thing you found funny on the internet for the last 20 years. They currently host the podcast Everything is Real, where they discuss paranormal phenomena with the thesis “hey, fuck you – what if that’s real?” 

Naturally, we wanted to talk to them about bigfoot. Fightin’ it, to be specific. If you’re looking for that peacenik trash about bigfeet being gentle psychic aliens from another dimension or whatever you are actually still in the right place, because we do talk about that, right before we open fire. 

We’re reading through Gray Barker’s BIGFOOT SHOOTOUT! 

We can’t sum it up any better than its most helpful review on Audible.

We read through every single page of this book and they shoot at bigfoot on every one, usually multiple times with multiple weapons. They might use a cannon at one point. This reviewer is right, there’s a lot of new age bullshit in here… and it’s all running for it’s fucking life.  

But we get that’s not enough for hardcore bigfoot fighting enthusiasts, who will accept nothing less than frontline reports on the open trench warfare Ohio is waging against the bigfeet. Anything but wholesale bigfoot slaughter might as well be a chakra gaping orgy at a doobie smoking new age convention, and that’s coming from us, who believe in murdering bigfoot. 

This write-up is over because BIGFOOT GOT OUR GUNS.

Artist’s rendition by Brett Ellefson

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Eliminators with Dirk Marshall 🌭

Today on the Dogg Zzone 9000 we’re talking with Portland hot sauce magnate Dirk Marshall, grown corpulent and prideful from his position atop the cascadian chili pepper oligarchy. Look at him, on his palanquin drawn by spice-crazed children. His corruption can only be stopped by divine justice or assassination. 

We might be a little bitter because Dirk has the nerve, the absolute gall to run the VHUS Podcast, where he finds even more cursed artifacts than we do. The difference is his premise is finding folks who work in the jobs shown in these bizarre movies, and our premise is nothing. 

For example, if the VHUS podcast covered the movie Eliminators, Dirk would find a mournful mandroid to discuss what it’s like living as a mockery of everything you were. Whereas we actually are talking about Eliminators this week, and we mostly giggle about the ninja. 

Eliminators is a perfect movie by virtue of being the best parts of every other movie. Nobody said that means it’s a good movie. If you build a Frankenstein with Chris Hemsworth’s biceps, Pedro Pascal’s voice, Timothee Chalamet’s eyes, Christina Hendricks’ tits, Van Damme’s ass, Willam Dafoe’s dong, and Beyonce’s legs, I’d still fuck it – but I’d have to act fast before God struck it down with earthquakes and wildfire.

That analogy started in a deeply personal place and ended in a VPN-protected incognito browser with 44 tabs open. But you get my point: everything in Eliminators rules, there’s a lot of it, and I don’t know if the monster it made actually whips ass or not because I’m too busy trying to smash it.

ELIMINATORS ROLL CALL!

Sexy scientist!

Cyborg!

Ninja!

Caveman!

Adventurous scallywag!

Wacky robot sidekick!

Fun-loving Berserker Super Hillbilly!

Horny cyborg!

Horny adventurous scallywag!

Horny caveman!

Force lightning wielding time-traveling evil Roman legionary cyborg mad scientist!

…

…

…

Horny force lightning wielding time-traveling evil Roman legionary cyborg mad scientist!

The Dogg Zzone 9000 is breaking for the holidays after this, because the parts of our brains that register awesomeness have been blown out by ninja fan leaps. We’ll see you in the new year!

Electric dick tickle art by Brett Ellefson

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PODCASTING DAY

Podcasting Day: Satanic Backmasking with Jason Pargin 🌭

It’s Dogg Zzone 9000 day, and we are playing all the hits– we’re talking about a classic moral panic with classic podcast guest, Jason Pargin. His new novel, If This Book Exists, You’re in the Wrong Universe, is available here, or here.

We are discussing the Satanic phenomenon of backmasking, which is when demons give you suspiciously incoherent messages when you play music backwards. It sounds stupid and crazy because it is, which means Sean owns several books on it. You will not believe the sinister commands maybe hiding in several songs! Did the Beatles kill a clone, and since they did, was it for the devil or publicity? Did the dumbest fucking dumbshits catch Freddy Mercury using sorcery to subliminally influence marijuana decisions? The evidence speaks for itself! Sort of!

Listen here, or at your normal podcast place. If you support our Patreon, by the way please do that, you can listen to a bonus podcast where Jason and Brockway compete to find the most wicked album cover in the cattiest anti-rock book from Seanbaby’s library. It helps if you like and Review! And it spleh if you weiver and ekil!

Footnotes:

Here is Sean’s Cracked article about backmasking he references. Or, if you want to skip straight to the Apophenia Home Game Starring Tone Loc, try this:

Watch this video of “Funky Cold Medina” backwards with no subtitles.

And then watch this video of “Funky Cold Medina” backwards with subtitles.

Your brain will suddenly and forever form words like magic! SATAN MAGIC.