Merritt joined our crew in 2023, and instantly became our expert on 1990s forgotten absurdity. We have several experts on 1990s forgotten absurdity. Weâre still hiring more. There will always be a need. But if youâre thinking of writing smart, thoroughly researched hilarity on childrenâs tie-in toys from 1993, you are going to have to knife fight Merritt. Fair warning: She always brings a gun.
Obviously RIFTS. Of course, RIFTS. Itâs unthinkable we hadnât covered RIFTS until this article, but hereâs the thing – itâs been pitched and approved several times and every single other author was too much of a coward to do it. Until Merritt! She alone was willing to read 8.7 million tables about how glitter damage applies to mecha-ponies.
Nerding Day: Skeleton Warriors
Remember Skeleton Warriors? No, you donât. Get out of here, liar. Only Merritt remembers Skeleton Warriors, and she does it so you donât have to. Best of all we got through this entire blurb without mentioning the sex crime stuff- aw, god dammit.
Nerding Day: Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad
The 1990s were the decade we tried everything in any direction to repeat the success of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. At some point we thought the kids mightâve loved TMNT because the title was adjective-Japanese-adjective-team. Then we decided the secret must be Tim Curry. Kids love Tim Curry, said the studio behind Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad. The kids did not agree.
Nerding Day: Sky Dancers and Dragon Flyz
See, Sky Dancers, theyâre always at the mall. Am I right, Sky Dancers? Always at the mall, all talking about your sex life like âDreadwing couldnât get it up last night.â Thatâs too much information, Sky Dancers! Where like, we Dragon Flyz? Haha – us Dragon Flyz will sit down together and watch four hours of Dragon Footballz without saying a word. These are but a few of the comical differences between Sky Dancers and Dragon Flyz, the exact same toy arbitrarily separated by gender. Am I right, folks?!
In the late 1990s, Diesel thought the North American Market was ready for the manga JoJoâs Bizarre Adventure. But youâd have to take out all the colorful characters, ridiculous poses, band names, and gayness. We were left with Diesel, which is to say we were left with nothing.