Author: sissyneck

I never watched that Tigerking show because out of respect for some dear cousins o mine what lived through a period of trauma that makes a show like that just hit to close too home. Them of you what also have lived in the south-eastern area of Idaho or perhaps bought or purr oozed certain issues of the National Enguierer probly also know what im talkin about which is:

Some of you might be askin ‘did you really spend a hunnerd dollars on that one Sissyneck!’ and no i didn’t thats like almost a whole year of Tubi Premium even tho i have a special discount from a email I got. I did make up to two inner libary loan requests and none of them panned out or even apologized so i have made due with less primaty sources but I endeavour to tell the truth of this historical experience within my actual household budget. This writin is gonna be about a hotdog artifact which has alluded us or maybe we held it breefly but then Belloq took it from our exhausted hands on account of because we dint speak Hovitos. Which is sad to me because i did learn that The Author Tom wrote many books and seemed like a pretty interestin guy, here take a look at how he was membered when he died a couple years back:

Hahaa I bet those new york ones believed it to!

And here is a memry from a close friend:

Well i still chuckle about that one too and here’s his writer biology which i can only asspire to, its in the form of a poem which was untitled but I choose to believe is probly called: ‘’He”:

Yes tho we never met I will miss you dearly Tom.

Here is what I bet is in the book Ligertown by fallin brother Tom who tryed to do good ideas even if they dint end up that way in the end.

What even is a Liger? Some of you at home are probably sayin I know I know I saw napoleon dynamite the movie or that one episode of the cartoon series (which wasnt terrible actually). Anyway no your wrong and shame on you for thinkin a cartoon is real: a Liger is not just any old Lion and Tiger blend it is only if a MALE Lion impregrenades a FEMALE Tigress like this:

Yes it is buteaufil in image alone but i will recommend this time that you click on a non-hotdog link to the original film because Whoever married sound and vision in this manner i would buy them a hotdog patreon if that were possible. (it is not)

But dont think its just that easy, that what you see up there is the a moor us fruits of many months of patience…

…and/or personal alchemo experments applied in a zoo environment:

At first i was thinking maybe Bill from Canada would be mad about being dockeds like this but somethin tells me no he was probly proud of his part in gettin a lion to put it in a tiger right away.

And yes i know some of you eager ones are raising your hands and stretching your fingers sayin: but what about, what about if… and yes yes here you go:

The real Gifted n Talented among us are probly ex-strapolatin even a ‘nother Algernon level so here’s for them:

Which i already knew about one a those i had a titigon south bout as soon as i turned 40 hawhawhaw.

OK but lets get serious for a moment because as a four shadow these are beasts never nintended to exist by our heavenly father did you ever hear of Jonah lettin a Liger on the ark? Nope and here’s why:

Observe:

And that might look really fun but there is hysterical evidence of folks gettin actually pretty fucked-up by a liger even one they thought was there friend:

I can just magine the zoo staff meetin the next day, some of em maybe with chocolate still on their faces from sneakin there kids trickertreat candy, an probly the head zookeeper said: settle in everyone, now it is real sad what happened to Peter, he was my friend to, hell i still got his post-hole-digger at my place, but folks? I hope this can remind us all that our Liger policies and proseedure binder wasnt just put together for no reason and thats a hard truth but it is a truth.

Ok so thats probly the first part of the book aka ‘’Liger” now lets move on the second one: ‘`Town`’

Momma was a census taker, the years when they had em. Not a bad job, except some of the dogs, but they werent cared for right: that rudeness aint on them. An she knew that! Course she did. But what she did tell me was that even tho Dad’s libatarian hero and hers, L.T. Col, Bo Gritz, was right about most government wastery and sin, the U.S. Census was a Powerful Force for Knowledge and the Truth of a Nations’ People. Also we could use the money too. And wasnt she right? For without the Census who of us would ever know that way back in about 1939, there was a 29 year old Oregan gal, name of Lurena Feiber, gave birth to a baby boy what she named…Rob.

Isnt that neat how that makes the words seem kinda once-upon-a-timey?

So Rob grew up in Oregon and, like a certain other Special Son, we dont hear much about him until hes grownup an upsettin the status kwoah. You see Rob had a special dream: to enstablish the kingdom of heaven hear on earth by breeding the very first White Liger.

But then the SYSTEM stuck its nose in for pretty much no reason:

But then for circumstands totally outside of Robs control something DID happen again:

So Rob observed that Oregone was not ready to recieve his message and vision so he fled east to another promise land:

But yep Idaho is pretty big and no one knew where he was hard at work perfectin his beast breedins in a very special place:

And its not just called that for no reason:

Huh thats interesting they began to stay mostly on the reservation instead of at the free hot water all year round spot i wonder what happened.

So it was in this steamin land of manyfold destinys and maybe god himself liked to bathe n soake there that Rob had the unbinded freedom to construct his faunal dream:

And he would not be bound by the laws of men, no he knew he was to answer only to a higher up power:

And by the sweat of his brow and the kindness of his high mountain neighbors what maybe had some dead lambs they werent usin he would fourge his path…

Yes the meat drop is a big curiosity for me. damn these used book scalpers! that keep me from gettin the whole story instead I must scrape an beg at the Amazon reviews for informationful leavins:

Well thats a little small-minded to me. When you pay your tithin do you complain about God not payin you back right away? And anyway Rob was puttin his money savings to good work by expandin and growin a beyautiful and safe environmint to receive the comin of White Liger the First:

Chicken wire and lumber aint free folks. Well chicken wire aint free anyway, most people said Rob used just whatever wood he could find.

But once again the Secular World here it comes intrudin’ because Rob wasnt perfect and some of you sharp-eyeds out there might already have seen it:

Yep some of them darn cats got out one night and when Rob was workin to get em back in, well:

They messed him up pretty good and then even more got out and the neighbors was callin 911 sayin “Hey i’m Bruce Hansen and my ex-mother in law Lavina Long come up to feed her goats but we got a African Lion in the driveway’ and then a special type of Idaho hero showed up:

Bannock County Chief Deputy Lorin Nielsen and well he made what some might call a bold decision but some say it was a good idea:

But he knew he coudnt do it alone he called in the best snipers and sharp-shooters in all of South-east Idaho and then even some from Salt Lake just lookit this tictacal show of force and lethal meens:

And yes them cats didnt stand a chance against them Caprices and windbreakers and scopes it was a unchristlike mass occur what followed:

But not all of em was causalities o war there was some civilans got involved too for example a Idaho gentleman name of Woney Peters…

Lotta good Idaho names hear today, Woney took one liger out from his back porch. His wife Laurie took some vhs ghost and the darkness footage of him on that faithful day:

Laurie said later on: “Woney? He is a expert shooter.’’ and you can tell by how he takes cover to reduce the Liger’s ability to return fire that she is right. So another noble liger, perhaps we might call it in death: “Shasta”, was felled to death by rifle fire.

An Fieber came to except the cold truth that, even in Idaho, he would not to see his Liger Destiny to fruiting:

You can just kinda tell the spirit an lifes gone outta him, although he does get up n chase the reporter out of his house right after this part. An he did have to go to court cuz they said they looked and he wasnt taking good care of the lions anyway and he said well yeah maybe it got a little untidy:

(I blurred up one downed Liger i dont know if its snipered or close-quarter-combat-casualtied or just tranked but we dont need that kinda upsettin in here)

But i guess nobody wanted to clean and fix ‘er up ‘er so they just went ahead and burnt it all down:

BUT: Idaho didnt have many laws against stuff back then so Rob just left Lava and Idaho and about 50 mistymeeners behind and some say he went back to Oregone and well a part of me still hopes that…

Hell. Could be maybe hes out their still, toilin still, and that one day he might arrive, triumfat, back to a heart of civilization, like Pocatello maybe, and there unveil to the world the completion of his Fate and Behold unto us: WHITE LIGER is born! and its coat and fur and hair and its stripes are exceedingly white yea even as blinding as the su-

Oh hey somebody in South Careolina already made some! Look at Yeti you can tell hes a troublemaker, nobody let him in Idaho.

And thats’ not the only good thing to come outta this:

I did buy this one.

Lets perhaps end with the words of them what lived through this: themselves the citizenries of Lava Hot Springs and Surrounding Bannock County (suggested musical accompniment and also that you scroll real slow and somber):

In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

…

This article was brought to you by our fine sponsor and Hot Dog Supreme: Greg Cunningham, who has the unstoppable virility of a gogorilla, which is a gorilla spliced with another gorilla.