Author: 1900HOTDOG

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Teamworking🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

Punsteria

The idea behind Teamworking Day is that some artifacts are simply too cursed to tackle alone. It’s like The Drift in Pacific Rim, a reference everyone understands and values. When somebody tried to teach a faulty AI how to make grade school puns and then removed all the safety measures, it took Seanbaby and Brockway working in tandem just to spread out the psychic damage to non-lethal levels.

The Austin Powers Collectible Card Game

There were Austin Powers trading cards. That’s not surprising. Everything had a trading card in the ‘90s. What’s surprising is these were part of a functional CCG. Yeah, Baby! We’re not saying “yeah, baby!” We’re playing Yeah, Baby! Somebody gave gameplay stats to the phrase “yeah, baby!”

Captain Al Cohol

In the 1970s, the Canadian government needed to address the problem of rampant alcoholism among its indigenous people. They knew they needed to do this sensitively, by making a comic book. That was already a bad idea, and then they created the world’s first alcoholic superhero. Then they made him white. And then they had him crash a snowmobile into a telephone pole.

Muryo Waza

There’s nothing more Hot Dog than a maniac writing a kung-fu manual. Except maybe if that Kung-fu manual is also based on unlikely animals, obscure clip-art, and clocks, clocks, clocks.

Double Red Lucky

Your life is a mess, and that’s because you’re not drinking enough Good Life Forever Happy Floor Wash and Foot Antiseptic. Only every third item in the Double Red Lucky catalog can save you.

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Dennard🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

The Confederate Alphabet

Dennard’s articles operate at such a high and dense level of comedy, there’s always something we have to Google just to get a punchline he tosses off easily. He knows this, and that’s why he leaves traps like The Confederate Alphabet. If you Google anything in this article, you are automatically placed on a domestic terrorism list. But he’s not getting us this time, we’re sidestepping this article about deeply racist revisionist history for children entirely…

Jim Limber Davis, A Black Orphan in the Confederate White House

And landing straight in this one. God damn you, Dennard! You magnificent bastard!

The Book of Vile Darkness

Dungeons & Dragons once tried to go full edgelord, and Dennard was there to call them all nerds. Well, bigger nerds than usual.

The LXD

Quick, what’s the only thing that could have fixed The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? If you answered “superpowered breakdancing to the death” you are having a medical emergency and you need to seek help. You are also correct, but that’s the least of your worries right now.

The Otaku Box

Dennard made the ultimate sacrifice and ordered the most cringeworthy loot box service on the internet. Then he went out into public and took pictures of himself opening it. Take note, Christian summer camps: Prayer doesn’t do shit, this is how you restore virginity.

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Lydia🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

All My Children Trading Cards

Lydia Bugg remains the wildest wild card in the Hot Dog deck. It’s her job to find the madness in seemingly normal artifacts that would never appear on our radar, like romance novels and Hulk Hogan movies (which we take very seriously). But something must have gone wrong here, because it says this article is about Susan Lucci trading cards – a thing we all have and find perfectly normal.

Brat TV’s Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis

The title of this article is Brat TV’s Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis. When you share this, make sure you don’t say “you have to read this article about Brat TV” or “check this essay on the Chicken Girls” or even “as discussed, please find attached the aforementioned reference material on Chicken Girls: The College years.” You have to say the whole thing – Brat TV’S Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis – or they might get it confused with something else titled very similarly.

BratTV Charmers Sponsored by Starburst

We told you! Be specific when you tell people about Brat TV’S Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis, or people might think you’re talking about BratTV Charmers Sponsored by Starburst, and then you’ll look like a fucking asshole!

PraiseMoves

Yoga is great! Honestly, the only way yoga could be better is if it didn’t send you screaming straight to hell. Now there’s PraiseMoves! Hallelujah! (That’s Jesus for Downward Dog.)

Superhorse’s Love Life

Lydia was very concerned about Superhorse. Specifically, Superhorse’s love life. Specifically, the part where he has one.

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Store

Hot Dog Store: It’s beginning to feel a lot like MUGMASS

Hey! Stop pouring liquid into your hands and start pouring it into our new 11 and 15 ounce ceramic mugs!

Each of these mugs are available in 11 ounce and 15 ounce sizes, with your choice of one of eight colors for the inside. They are lead and BPA-free, and safe for both the dishwasher and microwave.

You want to wake up with the gang staring at you as you make questionable choices first thing in the morning? You got it!

Pour a hot cup of boiled Mountain Dew and strap in for another BIGFEETS episode.

Rep the classics and enjoy some calming tea or something.

OH GOD NO, I THOUGHT WE WERE SAFE! WE JUST TALKED ABOUT THIS IN AN EARLIER STORE POST. I’m sorry to inform you that you don’t have a choice in this one, bud. Click here, add to cart, and await your destiny.

So yeah once again those mug stats:

• Ceramic

• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.79″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.25″ (8.3 cm) in diameter

• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.69″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter

• Lead and BPA-free material

• Colored rim, inside, and handle

• Dishwasher and microwave safe

And as usual, I didn’t list all of the options because I don’t do what you tell me.

But you can see all of them in our store, along with tons of other cursed and horrible fantastic things!

MUGS!

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Store

Hot Dog Store: It’s Your Ol’ Pal Ice Pop Paul

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Brockway is back! Hooray! Our long international nightmare is finally over. But don’t think it’s all sweet dreams and buttercreams from here on out. Maybe you forgot, maybe you didn’t know, but I’m here to remind you:

That’s right, none of you are safe! And to make sure you always remember that, we have our pal Ice Pop Paul available on all sorts of clothing you can wear at all times!

Here he is on a hoodie! Don’t like that color? That’s fine, we have six other colors to choose from!

“But what about when it gets too hot, and I need to take my hoodie off?” you say, desperately trying to find a loophole. NOPE, he is on your shirt!

“Aha! But my body is shaped different and I prefer a different cut. Sorry Ice Pop Paul, you’ll have to find someone else to torment.” That’s why we also have him available in this women’s style cut.

I’m gonna cut you off before you start, just like I did with these sleeves. We even have him on our tanktops, so stop trying to get out of this. You can either buy the clothing with the dude on it, or we can tattoo him on your chest, and my tattooing rate starts at $5500 an hour. Plus expenses.

And a per diem.

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TEAMWORKING DAY

Teamworking Day: Rob Liefeld’s Shrink!

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