Category: Hot Dog Appreciation Day

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Lydia🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

All My Children Trading Cards

Lydia Bugg remains the wildest wild card in the Hot Dog deck. It’s her job to find the madness in seemingly normal artifacts that would never appear on our radar, like romance novels and Hulk Hogan movies (which we take very seriously). But something must have gone wrong here, because it says this article is about Susan Lucci trading cards – a thing we all have and find perfectly normal.

Brat TV’s Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis

The title of this article is Brat TV’s Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis. When you share this, make sure you don’t say “you have to read this article about Brat TV” or “check this essay on the Chicken Girls” or even “as discussed, please find attached the aforementioned reference material on Chicken Girls: The College years.” You have to say the whole thing – Brat TV’S Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis – or they might get it confused with something else titled very similarly.

BratTV Charmers Sponsored by Starburst

We told you! Be specific when you tell people about Brat TV’S Chicken Girls: The College Years Presented by Takis, or people might think you’re talking about BratTV Charmers Sponsored by Starburst, and then you’ll look like a fucking asshole!

PraiseMoves

Yoga is great! Honestly, the only way yoga could be better is if it didn’t send you screaming straight to hell. Now there’s PraiseMoves! Hallelujah! (That’s Jesus for Downward Dog.)

Superhorse’s Love Life

Lydia was very concerned about Superhorse. Specifically, Superhorse’s love life. Specifically, the part where he has one.

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Schmidty🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

Zazzle’s William Henry Harrison Gifts

Alex Schmidt is the smart and kind Hot Dogger. Others are smart, others are kind, but not both. He’s like our Bill Nye, and just like Bill Nye, he gets really pissed off when you fuck with his William Henry Harrison swag.

Urge

Without Alex Schmidt, we would have literally no idea what Pierce Brosnan gets up to. That’s not a world we want to live in. Neither is the hip island nightclub hell of Urge.

Interviews with the Crystal Skull

As a knower of actual facts, Alex Schmidt does not appreciate pretend facts like the prophecies of crystal skulls. But he does appreciate the implied relationship drama behind all the crystal skull bullshit. It’s like a soap opera to him.

Sylvester Stallone’s Chaos Pen

This is not an article about a novelty celebrity-branded super pen. This is an article about the trailer for a novelty celebrity-branded super pen.

The Ugly Truckling

Somebody wrote a children’s book about the Cybertruck. Astonishingly, it’s pro-Cybertruck. It might be the only thing that is.

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Drucker🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

The Complete Austin Powers for Gameboy Strategy Guide

Mike Drucker is our newest resident Hot Dog, specializing in 30 year old shitty mobile games. Navigate menus, baby!

Tiger Electronics’ Mega Man 2

This is impossible to explain to anyone under 35, but a long time ago we had alternatives to real video games that were basically elaborate clocks. Here, just read this. It won’t make more sense, but you’ll have a good time.

Nintendo Comics System

Another early video game alternative was to not play a game at all, and instead read a comic book about it. None of this was fun, exactly, but it kept us quiet for part of a car ride and that’s all anyone wanted.

Super Mario Scented Water

Yet another alternative to playing a video game? Smelling a video game! Dab your neck with Mario water and become irresistible to fungus and turtles.

The Top Ten Fighting Games Where Jesus Fights Santa Claus

Just a classic old-web style listicle with no twists. No twists!

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Sissyneck🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

REAL Heat

Sissyneck is the closest thing we have to a cryptid on the Hot Dog writing staff. He is an unknowable creature stealing convenience store burritos in the night, leaving only Mormon recreations of Michael Mann movies in their place

The Serial

The 1970s! By which we mean the early 1980s. A sexy time of steamy encounters that suddenly end right before the good stuff. (We didn’t invent climaxing until the late 1990s.)

Saturday Night Fever Fliks Book

If you love Saturday Night Fever the movie, you’ll love the book! No, not the book it was based on. No, not the novelization of the film. The book that is the movie. It’s complicated, and by complicated we mean stupid.

Tears Are Not Enough

“We Are The World” was a cultural milestone that helped a lot of people. Canada wanted to try it, too! It’s kind of like when a little kid makes you breakfast. Appreciate the gesture and eat your eggshells.

Twinkle Winkle

Let the stars command your dick! Nothing more needs to, or should be said.

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Swaim🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

Wake in Fright

Michael Swaim is our go-to guy for truly traumatizing cinema. He’s like the Bane of fucked up movies – he was born in them, molded by them, he didn’t see a good flick until he was already a man! And by then the only thing that could get him off was an Australian dirtbag slitting a kangaroo’s throat. Luckily that happens in this movie.

Baby Clothes for the Unhinged Maniac

Swaim is having a baby! He celebrates this fact by finding every actionable clothing crime committed against babies. He celebrates weird.

Word Chewing

You’ll hate this! If you have a hard time with second-hand embarrassment, clueless social media trends, or that strange cousin who ruins every family reunion, you will hate this. That’s a Hot Dog Guarantee!

Mr. Stitch

Mr. Stitch is not a good movie, but it does have Rutger Hauer tormenting Wil Wheaton in a void, and that’s basically all we ask of a film.

The Chuck E. Cheese Archives

Come learn more about Chuck E. Cheese than you could ever possibly know. All of it will be forgotten! Lost in time, like pizza in a ball pit.

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Hot Dog Appreciation Day

Best of 2024 – Merritt K. 🌭

Happy holidays! We got you a gift. Don’t worry, you don’t have to get anything for us. We’ve picked the very best Hot Dog articles of 2024 and made them free. We did this because we are generous, because we understand the need for small measures of joy in these insane times, and because this is the only way we advertise. This is what we do instead of paying for auto-playing pop-ups featuring moaning hot dogs. You are our moaning hot dogs. The best way to help is to pick one of the free articles below (not this article – this is just the collection) and share it. If your victim enjoys the madness on display, point them to our patreon for support, or our free archives for a massive collection of hundreds of free articles updating weekly. That’s the gift you give to us. (It’s always a lie when somebody says you don’t have to get them anything. You should know that by now.)

Tenko and the Guardians of The Magic

When 1900HOTDOG assembles into an elite fighting force, Merritt is the wild card we rely on for obscure ’80s and ’90s cartoons that died unmourned. Like Tenko and the Guardians of the Magic, a Captain Planet ripoff about stage magic featuring — WOW! A real magic creep in every episode!

Jurassic Park’s Bizarre 1990s Toylines

The 1990s were a lawless time for toys. We lost a whole generation to poison slimes and eyeball poking rockets. So when some executive signed off on a toyline where Sam Neill has a fucking nuclear bomb, nobody batted an eye. Which is why we lost so many to the rockets, you see.

Star Crystal

What if the xenomorph from Aliens heard the word of Christ? Brought to you by the fine makers of Coca Cola: The official soda of alien baptisms.

A Very Special Today’s Special

Alcoholism is no joke, and that’s why this delicate subject matter should always be handled with puppets. Canadian puppets!

Man2Man Alliance

If you loved Dick Fight Island, you’ll love Dick Fight World. It turns out the only truly heterosexual way to fuck is to rub two penises together like you’re trying to start a cockfire.